Love, Serotonin, and Chemicals.

25Sep09

Science is comforting sometimes. Especially now. Logic, rationale, and Einstein’s theory of relativity have all come in handy to make me realize something. For all purposes, I live one life. I might as well make the most of it.

Statistically, women tend to write more about their disastrous relationships and so called poignant love. I have decided to take a few steps back and analyze the situation.

  1. Do I want to continue to go through emotions of pain, anger, yada yada yada in reaction to another human being who does not acknowledge all those emotions from me? Nope. I think I will curse my internet provider for not providing me with kickass download rates as he had originally promised. It is the same thing, and actually uses the same amount of energy. Hey, I need to stay connected online. Don’t judge.
  2. Do I want to continue a one sided relationship all in my head with someone who once told me I am  regrettable? (I am quite regrettable, don’t get me wrong, but only when you get on the wrong side of me. Which is fairly frequent if you have MTI and define Jeffrey Archer and Sydney Sheldon as literature.) Nope. One sided implies an imbalance in my psychological makeup and the need to see a doctor to fix the imbalance. I think I’d like to be so balanced now, that a soul can tip me over.
  3. Do I want to continue thinking He’s The One True Love? Considering Science defines ‘Love’ as a chemical reaction, leading to lowered levels of serotonin and the suppression of certain neural circuits associated with the way we assess others, I think not. Lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, therefore explaining the reason why I seem to be obsessing over another creature. Rather have more chemicals flowing through my body than being relegated to the loony bin. Or worse – being called a stalker.
  4. Do I want to be another notch on a bedpost? A phone number on a sim card? Or do I want to be the only wind beneath his wings, the Fermina Daza to his Florentina Ariza? That would be an irrational expectation because human beings are not only not monogamous sexually, but also socially. Numbers do not lie and I place my blind faith in statistics and historical data and state that we should enjoy other human creatures in the passing moments they come to us, and then discard them. I quite empathize with the female Praying Mantis. Get laid, get pregnant, get an orgasm, bite, devour, live happily ever after. Simple. Quick. (How long does it take a Praying Mantis to get an orgasm anyway?) And yay. The female of the species lives on.
  5. After reading the reams of blog posts moaning about the lost loves (hello, no more stalker-like obsession, remember?) and the lies and cheating and the whatever, I think we have forgotten to think for ourselves. Nietzche once said, What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?

So instead of spending your WHOLE life rejoicing in the life of another person, and then filling the internet with statements like ‘I will love him forever,’ (chemical reactions only last for that long, really), I suggest you take a long hard look at your life. See if there is anything worth rejoicing? And trust me, there will be plenty.

I am going to go rejoice in the fact that I have a gorgeous Dan Brown to complete. Baby steps, people, baby steps!

PS – Tell me how you are holding up!

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3 Responses to “Love, Serotonin, and Chemicals.”

  1. I have a 24 hour “shok period” wherein everything is allowed. After that, i force myself to get on with life. Preferably do something incredibly fun. Go out with friends. Party. Go on a date. Flirt. Whatever it takes.

    It has worked for me 🙂 mostly.

  2. Something I read the other day..
    3 ways to boost serotonin levels : # drugs # sex # good food
    Gorgeous post by the way our species could do good with it..

  3. 3 Anannya

    Talk. Not talk. Stiff upper lip and squared chin. Masses of tears and misery. Trying harder, to make it work, to put it behind you. Knowing somewhere that he isn’t worth it, that you deserve better. And still hoping for a miracle. And some day, hopefully, moving on.

    Been there. Done that. Still doing that.

    And yes, knowing that others have been there and made it helps. It really does.


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